Level of Care

My Mama died on August 11, 2009 - one week to the day after she fell and broke her hip. She had been to the doctor several time as she was having trouble breathing and felt she needed oxygen. However, her "level" was not low enough for insurance to pay for it. Her primary MD wanted her to see a pulmonary specialist, but she was unable to get an appointment for two months. She died before that. She received little rehab for the hip - just what they could do in the hospital. She was finally sent to a center for serious rehabilitation, arriving at 3:00 PM on the day she died. She complained of a pain in her leg and, in hindsight, it was probably a blood clot that killed her.

My Dad has been losing weight for the past 2 years. His "primary" MD told him he needed to lose weight. After several office visits, he was finally given a cat scan and diagnosed with primary liver cancer in April of this year - too late to treat the cancer by conventional standards.

This morning, I watched a segment of C-Span on health care in America featuring one of the many idiots who know better than we what is good for us. He stated that the majority of people in America were very happy with their health insurance and didn't want a change.

It has been my experience throughout this year (from the many appointments and hospitalizations of my parents), that there is no health care as we once knew it. The days when MD's were independent practitioners are gone. Hospitals in my area have an MD on staff who treats hospitalized patients. A primary MD is often affiliated with the hospital, but never sees patients there. One is only allowed to spend a finite amount of time in the hospital, dictated by the insurance company. It doesn't matter if you haven't been cured of the illness that put you there. My mother was hospitalized with pneumonia 3 time in 3 months. Each time she was sent home with antibiotics that didn't quite cure her.

While we are having the conversation on health care for all in America, let us not forget the quality of care the average American is receiving. We rate 37th in the world - behind Costa Rica.

I don't know how we got here. I suspect it is insurance companies and their strict payment policies. I do know that we must do something to change it. With the present spotlight on health insurance, it seems a good time to start the conversation about the level of care that insurance will provide.

Walking to Oak-Head Pond

by Mary Oliver

What is so utterly invisible
as tomorrow?
Not love,
not the wind,

not the inside of stone.
Not anything.
And yet, how often I'm fooled-
I'm wading along

in the sunlight-
and I'm sure I can see the fields and the ponds shining
days ahead-
I can see the light spilling

like a shower of meteors
into next week's trees,
and I plan to be there soon-
and, so far, I am

just that lucky,
my legs splashing
over the edge of darkness,
my heart on fire.

I don't know where
such certainty comes from-
the brave flesh
or the theater of the mind-

but if I had to guess
I would say that only
what the soul is supposed to be
could send us forth

with such cheer
as even the leaf must wear
as it unfurls
its fragrant body, and shines

against the hard possibility of stoppage-
which, day after day,
before such brisk, corpuscular belief,
shudders, and gives way.

Gee, Officer Crowley

Another shameless parental promotion of the many talents of my daughter and son-in-law. They are having way too much fun...

Pearls of Wisdom

As things are not exactly going smoothly in my life, I find that reading some of my favorite blogs gives me the hope, inspiration and general good feeling that life goes on and it is truly a beautiful experience. It is with a never ending sense of wonder that I am able to find such wise, sassy, compassionate and sage women right when I need them, saying exactly what I need to hear.

From Goddess in a Teapot:

Lately I have also been thinking of the many people, places, times, and stories that have, like the tree, spoken to a deeper part of me. Every once in awhile I will hear music or see a performance, or read a lifestory, or encounter a country or a historical era that grabs my spirit and will not let go until I have come to know it as thoroughly as I can. I don’t just experience it, but it sets off ideas, insights, determinations, creative flurries, and changes in attitudes to myself and my world view, sometimes for years at a time.

Many, many people and places are inspiring because of the beauty or artistry of their work or the courage of their deeds, but these muses are different. The connection to them or their work goes beyond a recognition of achievements or a desire to be like them, but rather they are in some way a gateway to the symbolic, otherworldly aspect of my life. There is something about them that shows that a piece of art isn’t simply a creative work, but the entrance to a cave brimming with treasured insights; a lifestory isn’t only a biography, but an allegory about all our life journeys; a country isn’t just a geographical boundary, but sometimes an entirely new universe and way of looking at the world. For a long time I wondered why muses show up in dreams so much more often than people I love and talk to everyday, and then I realized that it is because something about them speaks the language of the inner world.

From Aquila ka Hecate:

In Other News, I have surprisingly only just discovered that Breath can treat physical ailments.
Yes, I know, I'm slow.
The phlegm travelling down the back of my throat into my windpipe was causing me to bark furiously last night, and wake up the rest of the household, to boot. Slow and deep application of Breath, carrying the life essence into every cell of the physical body put not only the cough to sleep, but myself as well.

And, finally from Song!

The ancient song sings again and again, body, heart and soul. And cup and cross where for all the giving, love in those hours made the future, worth the loss. For what lies behind you, is always within you, and before you, so say the sages and lovers for all times.

To believe for a moment that there are no tomorrows of love, is to say the heart has its limits, the sky is a tent, and the sea is a pond with ragged humid shores.

Not your heart. Not your sky. Not your sea. No matter what you believe.

I would live a thousand lifetimes to say to you again and again. ”Life, you are”

Blessed be.

The words of God do not justify cruelty to women by President Jimmy Carter

"Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status ..." (Article 2, Universal Declaration of Human Rights)

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." (Galatians 3:28)

I have been a practising Christian all my life and a deacon and Bible teacher for many years. My faith is a source of strength and comfort to me, as religious beliefs are to hundreds of millions of people around the world.

So my decision to sever my ties with the Southern Baptist Convention, after six decades, was painful and difficult. It was, however, an unavoidable decision when th e convention's leaders, quoting a few carefully selected Bible verses and claiming that Eve was created second to Adam and was responsible for original sin, ordained that women must be "subservient" to their husbands and prohibited from serving as deacons, pastors or chaplains in the military service. This was in conflict with my belief - confirmed in the holy scriptures - that we are all equal in the eyes of God.

This view that women are somehow inferior to men is not restricted to one religion or belief. It is widespread. Women are prevented from playing a full and equal role in many faiths.

Nor, tragically, does its influence stop at the walls of the church, mosque, synagogue or temple. This discrimination, unjustifiably attributed to a Higher Authority, has provided a reason or excuse for the deprivation of women's equal rights across the world for centuries. The male interpretations of religious texts and the way they interact with, and reinforce, traditional practices justify some of the most pervasive, persistent, flagrant and damaging examples of human rights abuses.

Read the rest here

Adirondacks

Hello, dear friends! I am presently at our small place in the Adirondacks, smelling the wonderful pines and communing with nature. My posts shall be few and far between this summer, as there are many things demanding my attention right now - some good and some not so good, but that is the nature of life.

Have a wonderful summer!

Cyn

Lessons

Ahh, what would I do without smart witches leading me down the path of life? I know I don't know everything, but what I don't know often surprises me.

Lessons from Inanna include the following:

Lesson No. 1:

One of the most important things we can do as healers is to bear witness: to hold a non-judgmental but discerning space for the person or being who is healing. We need to be able to discern what would help them (an action, a holding, a medicine, a clean needle, a kind word, a pointed observation, a touch), but we cannot sit in judgment, for judgment limits and constrains where healing needs room for natural expansion and contraction. Bearing witness means being able to see things as they are, not as we wish they would be, and to "hold space" compassionately for whatever arises. Much of the work of a healer lies in being present to another, not buffeted by or frightened by their emotions, not sucked in, not closed down, not colluding, not withholding. Being with. And in that being, seeing what else might be needed.

Lesson No. 2:

I began thinking about ancestral memory and what if? What if the wounds I carry are not solely from my lifetime, but also from my mother's, my father's, and grandparents' passed genetically and psychically? What if the multiple abuses I have processed in therapy are from ancestral wounds as well as current, and what if the connections extend beyond even ancestral lineage to some kind of interspecies link?

I feel lighter when I entertain these thoughts and constantly renew my commitment to my path of healing, not only for my family and myself but also for all beings. I am beginning to see that the web of life weaves connections between all of time, space and place. And how each small healing benefits the whole cosmos.
(Janice Young)

And, from my gypsy children, Lesson No. 3:

"I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?"
John Lennon

With a gift from song!

Taurus New Moon

The Freedom of the Moon by Robert Frost

I've tried the new moon tilted in the air
Above a hazy tree-and-farmhouse cluster
As you might try a jewel in your hair.
I've tried it fine with little breadth of luster,
Alone, or in one ornament combining
With one first-water start almost shining.

I put it shining anywhere I please.
By walking slowly on some evening later,
I've pulled it from a crate of crooked trees,
And brought it over glossy water, greater,
And dropped it in, and seen the image wallow,
The color run, all sorts of wonder follow.

Obama Man Can

Obama's Spinning Head

What I've learned about Obama in the first days of his presidency. Some of it I already knew. Some, I didn't.

Obama the President:

He talks often and says nothing - I already knew that. He can't rely on his memory or speak "off the cuff" - I didn't know that. He relies on teleprompters of all shapes and sizes, either due to a poor memory or out of fear that he may say something that actually means something, which, if not tested by pollsters, could get him in hot water. His lack of experience is showing.

When he takes a stand, it is meaningless. He has done little of what he promised to do. And, if he says he won't do something or is against it and is hounded enough, he will reverse his stance. If he says something is wrong and poll results tell him what an extremely unpopular point of view that is, he will pass the buck or wiggle around it.

He bowed to the prince. He didn't get a shelter dog. He looks awkward when filmed in real life situations. He condemned FISA and now claims “Sovereign Immunity” Flip, Flop.

Perhaps the torture memos, Meet the Press and Greenwald put it all in perspective for me. This is from last Sunday, with supposed Democrats and Republicans talking about the release of the memos and how to handle them:

What a vibrant, spirited debate that was. And the way they all harmoniously recite the same White House Orwellian script -- look to the glorious future, citizens, for that is where your salvation lies -- is almost as creepy as the OLC torture memos themselves. Too bad for the 2.1 million Americans in prison -- the largest prison population on the planet -- that the profound sense of forgiveness exuded by Obama and our Beltway elites only seems to apply to themselves, and especially to Bush officials who systematically violated the law. For ordinary citizens caught in America's criminal justice system, mercy and understanding are the rarest commodities one can imagine. Perhaps it's time to begin a FREE BERNIE MADOFF campaign based on Obama's oh-so-moving decree that this is a time for reflection, not retribution, and that we must look forward, not backwards.

Emphasis mine.

Obama is trying too hard to be all things to the people he is beholden to. I don't mean his astroturf supporters - he could care less about them. I mean the money people that put him in power. He appears to have no convictions of his own. I can't imagine him digging deep down in his gut and making the hard decisions for the right reasons. He is simply the Big Giant Head of a government gone wrong. I was really hoping to see some sign of a President who would do what was difficult, but right, and suck it up when he made a mistake - not some fake, all knowing Father Knows Best. The bailouts, the budget, more deployment of troops. So much for the Democratic majority. Obama is America's third term of an inexperienced leader, allowing corporate interests to lead him down the path of destruction of our economy.

One thing I can't figure out, however, is his lack of interest. He seems to be trying too hard to convince us he has everything under control, but I think the only thing he really wants to control is his image. That is his number one priority. Obama - Numero Uno.

America the Tarnished

Via Hecate's wonderful blog here, go read Whisky Fire

"You know, I'm not a lawyer, but I have to say, when you seek out or write a legal opinion about whether you can get away with dropping a bug on a guy in a box, you're in a real weird moral place."

We need to address this. If we don't go after the people that made this possible, we have no right prosecuting people who attack America. Bush, Cheney and DOJ attorneys need to be held accountable. Secret law is secret because the ones who use it know it is wrong. I am outraged. Glenn Greenwald agrees.

Goddess Susan Boyle

Via Sia

In our pop-minded culture so slavishly obsessed with packaging -- the right face, the right clothes, the right attitudes, the right Facebook posts -- the unpackaged artistic power of the unstyled, un-hip, un-kissed Ms. Boyle let me feel, for the duration of one blazing showstopping ballad, the meaning of human grace. She pierced my defenses. She reordered the measure of beauty. And I had no idea until tears sprang how desperately I need that corrective from time to time.

In Honor of Frenchie Doucette

RIP, French.

My darling...

Basilica. One year ago, you were just a seed, tucked into a peat pot. I watered you and you grew and flourished in the sunshine on the back deck. In time, you graced my bruschetta, my omelets, my summer pasta, and most of all, my fresh tomato - basil - mozzarella salad. You were the mainstay of my marinara sauce, the darling of my kitchen, the belle of the ball. You so outlasted Rosemary and Thyme. Even Sage gave up. It's okay. You have given me the best year of your life. You are so superior to the other herbs - you are my sunshine. But, Basil, it's time to let go. Watching you day after day, trying to grow new leaves, is killing me. Most of your branches are gone, but you are still trying so hard to keep going. We have to end this, but I've got plans to let you go out in style. I have a lovely thin chicken cutlet, some goat cheese and some tender baby spinach that I think you will be happy with. Go in peace, my Basil, and know that you were loved and savored. I shall never forget you and the summer of 2008.

The Case for Distrust

Here's something to chew on as you digest your fancy Easter dinner, complete with too many rich foods that you know you shouldn't have eaten, but were just too delicious to pass up. And, I'm a pagan for Goddess' sakes. (Good grief, I have leftovers, too)

Do you trust the Obama administration, or not? For progressives, in many ways this is the fundamental economic and political question of our times.

For example, it isn't difficult to find Nobel laureates, distinguished, progressive blog-friendly economics Ph.D.s, and even people who saw the financial crisis coming who think that the Obama administration's Wall Street bailout plan is a good idea that will probably work. At the same time, it isn't difficult to find Nobel laureates, distinguished, progressive blog-firendly economics PhD.s, and people who saw the financial crisis coming who think the Obama administration's bailout plan is a bad idea. As such, faith in the bailout plan really isn't a question of analytic and scholastic ability, having clean hands on the financial crisis, or whether or not someone comes from an elite world of Villagers. It is simply a matter of trust in the people executing the plan.

Much the same can be said for the Afghanistan escalation, long-term social investment spending, torture and detainment policies, the new defense budget, the value of post-partisanship, the degree of progressivism in Obama administration appointments, and much more. The debate within progressive circles we are experiencing over these issues is primarily based on a question of trust, and only to a lesser extent on analysis, research and facts. It is a debate with which almost anyone who consumes progressive media is familiar: give President Obama a chance, aka trust the Obama administration and stop criticizing it, versus make him do it, aka President Obama's administration will only pursue a progressive policy direction if it is forced to do so by popular pressure. Within progressive circles, these attitudes are demonstrative of either a fundamental trust or distrust of the intentions of the Obama administration.

by Chris Bowers at Open Left

Song!

Where are you?

Greed

Mortgage brokers are largely responsible for where our economy is today. The mortgage broker industry followed the "everyone is entitled to own a home no matter what their income" crowd. The New York Times has an opinion article entitled Predatory Broker which hits the mark on what I experienced working in the legal field. Real Estate sales people and appraisers also had their hands in the pie. Inflate the values, get the lending and pocket your prize.

Mortgage brokers are supposed to be impartial advocates who search out the best possible deal for prospective homeowners seeking a loan. The mortgage crisis has revealed a different truth. Too many brokers were far more interested in earning fat fees for steering their clients to ruinously priced loans that the borrowers could never hope to repay.

The Rock Garden Cat

has developed a bit of an attitude (surprise, surprise), since I posted his photo on my blog. He wants all of you to know that he is not a one trick pony or just another pretty face and that he actually lives a very full life. Hence, he has asked me to post the following:

He is an avid collector of antique toys,

does a hellofa imitation of a bearskin rug, and

he is an accomplished knitter.

Mr (50) Miles (of bad road) is single and wants all of you lovely lady cats to know that "he is looking". You may reach him in care of this blog.

Hecate: Full Moon Magic

Hecate: Full Moon Magic

... there's a full Moon this week, in Libra, the sign of balance. And if you were casting about for a good magical project, you could do worse than to send some energy to Elizabeth Warren, to work some magic to let her balance out the insanity of Geithner and Summers.

Great advice. We need to use all tools available to stop the insanity.

What's growing in your rock garden?